..... I like hard work. It keeps my mind right. A cool day's best for it.
..... It's cool this morning and still dark when I park by Earl's house. He's got a place on Frelinghuysen. He's not on the porch like he usually is, waiting to waddle to my truck in his overalls, with a list of jobs on a scrap of yellow paper. Not today.
..... I eyeball up and down the street. It's quiet, barely dawn. I like this hour, have since I was a boy. Feels like it's just me in the world, and nothing hurts. I climb out, and a lady hurries into her car, fear in her eyes.
..... I don't blame her none. I know how I look. Six and a half. Three fifty. And I got a dent in the side of my head like a bruised apple. But I never hurt no woman.
..... I walk up Earl's driveway slow. Maybe he'll come out, tell her I'm good. I slap his front door, her car squeals off. It needs a fan belt. I could fix it. She won't let me.
..... "That you, Denny?"
..... "Yeah." I put my face by the little hole he looks through.
..... His locks open, sound like a good break in pool.
..... Earl's a head shorter than me. Big belly fills his overalls. Horseshoe of gray hair on his shiny brown head, and a beard to match. I shave everything clean; probation officer said it made me less scary. I been with Earl six months now, moving junk and scrap. Officer Fiore was right.
..... "How you doing?" Earl says. "Come in. Got a surprise."
..... I hear scratching and whimpering. I draw back. Last dog I met, some banger's Rottweiler, wouldn't let go my leg. Had to twist its head off. The banger's too. I wonder if this dog can smell that on me.
..... "She's just a puppy, big man."
..... Earl reaches down, pulls up a squirming white mess of paws and tail. "Her name's Remy," he says. Holds her to my face.
..... She's a pit bull with a brown splotch across the eyes. Won't stay still. Wiggles, licks my face.
..... "See?"
..... "Good dog," I say. Ruffle her ears. They're long. So's her tail. Not like most pits I see in Newark.
..... Earl sets her on the cracked checkered floor. She rolls on her back between my boots, shows me her belly.
..... "She likes you. Got her from Hazeldeen, lady we cleaned the house for in Irvington. She takes in a lot of women and kids who got dogs. She finds homes for 'em."
..... I reach down and scratch Remy's belly. She likes that.
..... "Got a scar on her nose."
..... "And you got a dent in your head," he says, smiles. "Someone tried to toughen her up. But you too sweet for that, ain't you, missy?" Earl scoops her up again, scratches her ears.
..... "Got long ears."
..... "They crop the ears sometimes," he says. "I'm gonna leave hers be."
..... I rub the scar behind my left ear. "What's the job today?"
..... "Emptying out a house in Elizabeth. Okay we use your truck? My alternator's shot." Last week it was the clutch. Run of bad luck.
..... When we head out, he's still got the dog.
..... "Okay if she stays in your truck? I got paper to put down," Earl says, looking down.
..... I scratch the scar on her nose. "'kay. Let's get breakfast."

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..... "All that boy do is eat," the woman who's not my momma said. "Just cause you burned your mother up, doesn't mean you can eat us out of house and home."
..... Her name was Alice. She was big and cruel. Liked to pinch you where it's tender.
..... And I didn't light that fire. Horace's friends did.
..... "Got nothing to say? Or did your brains get knocked in when your whore momma dropped you on your head?" That was Milton. He had yellow teeth. Always frowned. Slouched in his chair, pointed his fork at me.
..... Momma wasn't no whore. Horace made her do those things. Didn't drop me on my head, neither. That was the doctor, when I was born. With the four seps, Momma said.
..... "Horace made my Momma do that." I finished my bite, then pushed my plate to Kaycee and Randy. They were six and four, needed it more than I did. They ate, quiet. They'd been here longer than me.
..... "At least the whore taught you manners, Denty." Milton laughed.
..... Alice laughed at his name for me. Her big breasts and belly shook.
..... "You hate me, don't you?" Milton said. "You wanna burn me up? No, you're a good boy now. Like one of the retards who bag groceries at the store."
..... I don't say much. Never did. But I listen good. I'm big for my age. Horace made me lift weights, got me strong. Strong enough to crush his throat for him. I got away with that but got five years in juvenile for the fire his boys lit in revenge.
..... The State placed me with Milton and Alice because they don't smoke. I got cracked any time I walked past the stove. I wished I was still inside. Milton wasn't much bigger than me. Taller by a head. I was thick like a barrel, and pain was always far away, like Momma. I used to fight back. Then Alice made me watch her put a red hot bobby pin in Kaycee's privates.
..... After that, I just took it.
..... I got up and went to our room, laid down on the mattress. It smelled like Randy's piss.
..... "Gotta toughen up, boy," Milton called. "You'll be a man soon."
..... Alice pushed Randy and Kaycee in and locked the door.
..... "It's okay, Denny," Kaycee said. She came over, stroked my head. Her little thumb traced my dent.
..... Randy was watching cars by the window. It was nailed shut.
..... "I'm hungry," he said.
..... We all were.

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